The judgement

The day I decided to sneak from school is the same day that my old man decided to knock on the headteacher’s door. You may call it stupidity or foolishness but I think that Karma was very much lurking in the neighborhood such that even after seeing my old man waltz into the school compound, my younger me did not tell me, ‘babe, you may need to go back to class and lie to the teacher that you have a running stomach and that’s why you chilled in the latrine.’ I think my processor must have been from the first generation computers, it took eternity to load.
It all started the previous Friday when the tall, dark and handsome Mister who used to smoke while standing by the classroom window and sending the billowy smoke to the classroom while demanding that we don’t puff his cigar instructed us to bring some two textbooks on Monday and if we didn’t we’d better not show up in school on Monday morning. Me and my scared self tried to look for Mr courage so I could tell my old man to buy me the books but Mr courage was nowhere to be found. I ended up keeping mum and decided that come Monday morning I’d go to school as usual and then sneak from school until it was time to go home. I’d then go back home innocently like I I’d been in school the whole day.
So during the morning preps Rozzie and I laid our plan on the table like pirates scrutinizing a treasure map. Our friend the lastborn had decided not to come to school after all and we thought we should pay her a visit. After assembly instead of going back to class we made our way to the latrines and hid behind there. We surveyed the grounds and it was all clear so we ran as fast as our little legs could carry us, towards the forested section of the school. That’s when I spotted my old man stealthily walking towards the school compound. Instead of aborting the mission I continued running towards the fence my friend Rozzie on tow. We passed through the neighbours farms until we reached our friends house where we found her in the kitchen roasting corn and my did we eat it. We might have finished a whole sack and everything else was forgotten. We ‘teremshad’ the grainy goodness with sour porridge and sugarcanes. We almost had our own rendition of ‘burgers and fries and cherry pies’ only ours would be, ‘thanū and igwa and gacūrū in a world we used to know.’Time travels faster when you are busy so the morning and the evening was the first day. When I arrived home, I tiptoed to the bedroom only to hear that signature throat clearing followed by my name. I tried to summon Wangwana but they didn’t seem to hear me or acknowledge my prescence.I walked towards the voice like young Samwel when he heard that voice, only I was walking towards my doom.I was asked where I’d spent the day but before I could even answer, I was told to gather all my belongings and go back to wherever. Mothers are the best advocates under the sun. She was like, ‘your honour, if she goes, I go with her.’ I almost sang, ‘where you go I go…’ then I remembered doomsday. My old man was like, beautiful counsel, approach the bench. I only managed to hear undertones and realised a few seconds latter that the sentence had been delivered on my callipygian zone. I was grabbed by the collar and you can imagine what happened to my ‘nyama ya sirikal.’ I’m glad though that I didn’t sleep in the cold. For now lemmi reminisce with my friend Rose.


Published by Nyar Kaheti

Born and raised on the picturesque slopes of Mt Kenya, Nyar Kaheti is your girl next door vibe kind of girl. She enjoys reading, writing, hiking, and listening to country music among other things.

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