The landing

I had to open my mouth after coming across the tree of the knowledge of right and wrong. I know the good book says it was in the middle of the garden, but here in the mountains this tree loves to thrive near rivers. You’ll know which tree I’m talking about in a bit. They say that teachers are the only people who beat their customers. A sad fact because in the corporate world, the customer should always be right. That aside, the mountain’s teachers took this activity a notch higher. They not only beat their customers but also demanded that said customers bring the cane. The Parasol tree otherwise known as Polyscias fulva aka Mūtathi unanimously became the tree of the knowledge of right and wrong. One whack and you’d be screaming, ‘Mwarimū ndigacokera’ ‘teacher I’ll never repeat.’
Now trouble would begin to brew when the teachers felt that their sticky stock needed replenishment. The whole class would be taxed with the duty of finding the straightest of them and bringing them to school the following day. This meant crossing the mighty Thagana to go to Mūhīndīs side to select the pedigriest tree without coming face to face with the old man. Climbing was the easiest of the tasks since I was light. Nowadays my weight is betraying me. Once done the stick would undergo a curing process of removing the bark and then burying it in hot ash. Careful not to burn it though. The end result was a real musical note with each strike of the cane on you know where. You also had to guard the stick with your life since a classmate might decide to borrow yours and when the teacher asks you why you didn’t bring yours, you softly say, ‘nī kūriganīrwo.’ (forgetfulness.’ Before you finish he has already landed on your ‘nyama ya sirikal.’ You’ll go back home having the yellow fever, eerr sorry red fever on your callipygian region. Still we love teachers, don’t we? That’s why we still take our loved ones to them.


Published by Nyar Kaheti

Born and raised on the picturesque slopes of Mt Kenya, Nyar Kaheti is your girl next door vibe kind of girl. She enjoys reading, writing, hiking, and listening to country music among other things.

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