The switch.

There were lies that were considered right way back in the days e.g we used to be told that if you ate people’s things/ steal one of your ass cheeks would become bigger than the other. This was meant to discourage people from turning into tūrīa nīme. You can imagine the torture we’d go through trying to catch a glimpse of our rear view. All in all I guess it was true because sometimes I check myself in the mirror and see some hint. How else would I be punished after feasting on my uncle’s guavas every Sunday after Sunday school. Imagine switching from Saint to thief in an instant. I would enter surreptitiously through a hole in the fence and stealthily advance towards the guava trees on tippy toes. Even though the guava tree was slippery I was more agile than a leopard. I’d stay on that tree for more than an hour and only climb down when my tummy was full to the brim. And here I’ve been wondering why Becky, my uncle’s dog used to stalk me. I guess he recognised the guava thief. I also used to wonder why my father hadn’t planted guavas like my uncle and left us to salivate like Pavlov’s dogs. Ooh my, dogs again.
That’s why when the call of nature came, you know the big one, I’d go and dig a whole in the farm and defacate in hope that a guava tree would grow in our farm. Funny enough it did grow.
And that’s why I’m enjoying this juicy goodness. I no longer eat them from atop.

Published by Nyar Kaheti

Born and raised on the picturesque slopes of Mt Kenya, Nyar Kaheti is your girl next door vibe kind of girl. She enjoys reading, writing, hiking, and listening to country music among other things.

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