The break.

A tale from fort hall aka metumi ndigi magūrū or simply the place we call Mūrang’a county.
Well fort hall is known for many things like the famous mūkūrwe wa Nyagathanga where the Gīkūyū and Mūmbi tale took place in high definition. It’s also known for gīthaarī and cai wa fourteen among others.
Then again there are the akorino tales; akorinos are independent Christians sects that broke away from the Nyaruta/ missionaries ideologies. I don’t know how Forthall became a home to so many, but I know someone who says that he would have been one had it not been for the turbans running out of supply. 🤣
So you know how the akorino sect believes in being dreamt for/ kūroterwo. You see in everything and especially in marriage they must seek that dream/ vision.
Once upon a time, an old geezer lusted after a newly ripened tomato that had bloomed in the neighborhood. He decided to confide in a friend and together they plotted how they would get the young lass to join his everincreasing fleet of wives. The script was written and choreographed by the village drama king and together they started the entourage to the girls homestead. As it’s habitual for most homesteads a croton megalocarpus tree aka mūruthu proudly spreads its leaves at the centre of the compound providing a shade so divine. The mission statement for their arrival was announced and soon the whole family plus the visitors gathered under the croton tree. They narrated how the Good Guy up there had spoken categorically and instructed that the young girl marry the old geezer. The sun had set and spring darkness was consuming the village then suddenly a light flashed from the sky above the tree and everyone bowed in silence. As Kenny said, you could have heard a pin drop. A loud voice like that of many waters was heard. Everyone listened as the ‘Lord’ commanded the girl’s father to allow her to get married. The old geezer was like, ‘nīguo woiga baba?’ Is that what you have spelt out dear father?’ and the ‘good lord’ replied, īī. They all started speaking in tongues and singing, ‘wee niwe Ngai ūrīa turenda.’ Then kufumba na kufumbua, the branch where Bruce Almighty sat broke off and he fell down in a thud. I guess gravity did not recognise him. Everyone was mguu niponye, Bruce Almighty, couldn’t run since he landed down ass first dislocating his hip. Now he walks with a limp like a hyena. He learnt his lesson though. For now lemmi see which branch won’t give in. I have a plan.

Published by Nyar Kaheti

Born and raised on the picturesque slopes of Mt Kenya, Nyar Kaheti is your girl next door vibe kind of girl. She enjoys reading, writing, hiking, and listening to country music among other things.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: