There’s a reason why they said Kiswahili kitukuzwe. Well a long time ago, when they were teaching us Swahili in class eight we were divided into discussion group. The aim of these groups was to write Inshas and then mark for each other. That way the teacher wouldn’t have too much on his plate. In corporate they call it delegation. Yeah, noone wants to have too much on their plates unless it’s a scrumptious meal.
So then, we’d just recently learned tanakali za sauti, you know the likes of kulala fo fo fo or tulia tulii tulii. After the topic which the teacher explained in leaps and bounds, the somo la ziada was to write insha using as many tanakali za sauti as possible. Who better than primary school kids to embark on such an assignment. We were as busy as bees trying to gather as much pollen juice for the honey (Insha.) So the next Swahili lesson meant that we sit in our groups and read each Insha, review, correct it and assign marks. So we started reading the Insha until we arrived at the tanakali za sauti stage and the first bus arrived stating; ‘tiririka tiririri na tuchukue majiwe tuwapige hawa wanyama.’ Everyone in the group burst out in laughter, well everyone except the writer, she walked out like a dog that’s been rained on.
Now in my tarmacking era, I got invited to attend an interview in a microfinance Bank. I prepared myself both mentally and appearancewise and waited anxiously in that interview lobby fidgeting with the rest of the interviewees. My turn came and I was whisked into the interview room where I introduced myself before the panel. Then the first question came and I was supposed to talk to the panel in Swahili illustrating to them the company’s products; you know like potential customers. Hafi bila Fifi Swahili is hard as it is, that’s why you hear my mountain people say, ‘anga marienda, makakutana na makafendana.’ I was like a deer caught in the headlights, I turned beetroot red and upto now I still can’t remember what I actually said. Turns out this time round I’m the one who walked outta the door with the tail between my legs feeling like a drenched dog. As you can guess, I never got the job. That’s why I’m here to say, ‘Kiswahili Kitukuzwe. This is where you say, Igweeee…..

Published by Nyar Kaheti

Born and raised on the picturesque slopes of Mt Kenya, Nyar Kaheti is your girl next door vibe kind of girl. She enjoys reading, writing, hiking, and listening to country music among other things.

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