Author Archives: Nyar Kaheti

Narespect kila hustle lakini kuna two towns nimeona with very peculiar hawkers. Moja ni Karatina and no. 2 ni Nakuru, or is it a city nowadays. Wueeh the hawkers in these towns don’t give a damn about body language. They’ll talk to you, see that you’ve shaken your head in a not interested style butContinue reading “Cocooned.”

Have you ever been told something by someone that carried you like a bus, only this did not carry you like the bus Judy or the Bus Rīakanau or coming closer to the slopes of the mountain you could say like Magutu controller. Haha, ama kama vile hawa maOrezzo wetu walibebwa huko Uingereza. At leastContinue reading “No invitation”

Just when I was about to think that I was slowly but surely turning into a dreamer like Joseph, I woke up to the sad fact that instead of dreaming about Jacob’s ladder, I was dreaming that I’d turned into Kīhaico’s ladder and the cows were climbing up and down my back 😂. Seriously whoContinue reading “A dreamer”

Stage fright can be characterized by several behavioural and physiological manifestations such as sweating, being tongue tied, dry mouth and even loss of words. I don’t know if being tongue tied and the tongue clinging to the roof of the mouth is one and the same thing?However what I do know, is that stage frightContinue reading “Aced”

Kuna vitu ambavyo ni sure bet. Kama mat ya 2NK kupitia fuelling station immediately after kutoka stage. Then some dude gets out and rushes to the washrooms to relieve himself and I’m left wondering what could he have done if it hadn’t stopped? Then again as I’d said in my opening remarks, hii ni sureContinue reading “A sure bet.”

Too many recent disassociations. The Damianos recently disassociated themselves with Chererror’s scientific calculator and then the plumbers were second in the EQMS to disassociate themselves with claims that they’d stay in the vicinity of the bathroom after repairs to watch the missus shower. I wonder who’s gonna lodge a complaint next.Yeah I also wonder whatContinue reading “Lodged”

With so many new and complicated words resurfacing as our learned brothers prepare to ambush us with the latest jargon in the Thesaurus I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels like the word screenshot leaves a bitter taste in my mouth (si uniscreenshotie 🤣). I mean the past tense of shoot isContinue reading “A concern”

Songs or should I say music is medicine to the heart. Now there’s just one drawback to that.When you don’t know the lyrics and you have to eat the teeth or better still cook up your own. For example this song, ‘my night nurse’ I used to sing, ‘my nightmares’ 🤣 Then there’s this songContinue reading “An epiphany.”

Have you ever felt so good about yourself and you smiled from ear to ear, then suddenly in a blink of an eye the feeling is gone and in its place bewilderment and cold calculations and not the Chererror’s calculus take preeminence . Well that’s how you feel when you are stealing your neighbour’s custardContinue reading “Assets”

‘Ugia ngūkū,’ drink fast and furious except what you were being told to drink fast was not treetop or mirinda. No, it was a concoction of raw egg and milk/ tea. This was the tried and tested remedy for multiple upper respiratory infections but most prominently the common cold. It didn’t matter how horrible itContinue reading “The long wait.”