Author Archives: Nyar Kaheti

Today we are all up to exercising our civics rights. Not me though, I gave up on governance sometimes back. Now my mantra is, wherever the ship sails, bora uhai. I wonder whether you are reading this on a long queue as you wait to take your turn. Or maybe you are too amused byContinue reading “Acquinted”

Why are superloaf and Broadway’s delivery lorries painted in yellow? Shouldn’t Magoha tell them that this colour is for school buses vans and face me. So I’m braving the aphelion shenanigans in the morning after the government dealt a below the belt on me. I mean, there’s this trending joke of schools operating like makofiContinue reading “Dealt”

There were times back on the slopes when we’d go grazing or weeding and the usual appetizers such as gooseberries, oranges and mangoes were out of season. This didn’t leave us plenty of choices except to make a fire and roast the abundant sweet potatoes. Somehow Mr Soft had managed to convince Asusena and IContinue reading “Revealed.”

Going to visit a relative back in the days was sort of the coolest thing in the village. You’d have to go to the river and do some thorough washing of your clothes and also look for a way to woo the old man into giving you the much needed permission. You’d often have toContinue reading “A trail.”

Kanairo the green city in the sun. Once upon a time, during rush hour there were these mats that ferried people to and from various estates. Yeah I know they still do, nowadays they call them nganyas or maybe shebeteng has a newer word that I’m not privy to. So you are wondering what’s thisContinue reading “Hopped”

Listenin to Dolly’s coat of many colours has reminded be of a coat. Well this coat was not a coat of many colours but it’s a coat worth mentioning. So this coat was of singular colour and by the way is khaki a colour or a fabric? I’ll go with the former. So I’m wearingContinue reading “Uncoated.”

I know it’s every girls desire to kukatiwa. For some it’s an every hour/minute occurrence since suitors are always flowing like a colony of ants who have discovered that ’embe dondo embe dondo limelala mchangani.’ For others it’s breaking news if a boy looks back mkipitana. I won’t say which category I belonged to I’llContinue reading “An awkward moment.”

Sons of Jeroboam. You lift your long necks through your neighbors fence and see a bright red rose. You walk majestically and cut it and bring it to your house. What should you do to the said rose after plucking it. You look for the choicest vase and put water in it, deep the roseContinue reading “TLC”

Coincidentally the cold season comes with plenty a corn in the fields. So to chase the cold away and keep off cold inspired ailments you not only have to warm your body with fire but also with roasted maize the best remedy to keep the cold at bay. After all in Forthall they say, ‘mūndūContinue reading “Roasted”

Signs that you have become a fossil. Go to a salon and before they wash your hair they ask you politely, ‘tunapaka dye?’ CheckChat with a colleague and ask her, ‘did you use kilometric?’ and she be like, ‘ Mimi si Mzee hivyo.’ Wueeh check check.Had a chat with colleagues during happy hour and grazingContinue reading “Brazen”